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26 Oct

The greatest love song for Separation: Music to help you through it

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If you’ve ever broken up with someone, you know there’s no separation without its very own musical soundtrack. This soundtrack will vary according to your state of mind – erratically fluctuating between depression and euphoria at first maybe, but ultimately you’ll find you’re on the road to recovery. For every stage of this separation process, there’s the right sort of music to help you along the way, so below are a few suggestions for music to break up to, music to help you cry and let it all out, and music for a fresh start.

The first stage of separation: Music for saying good-bye

So here you are. It’s been a long time coming, but now the words you’ve been dreading to say or to hear are inevitable: It’s over. It was nice while it lasted, but the time has come to part. As you are probably about to have one of the most difficult conversations of you life, here are a couple of songs to help you set things in motion. It’s the first step in the long process of separation – music says what words cannot, so let a song speak for you: If you want to say good-bye in style and are not afraid of celebrating your love one last time, “Dancing with Tears in my Eyes” by Ultravox is the right song for you. A slightly more sober and sombre approach offer Fleetwood Mac with “Go your own way”, and of course ABBA knew it all when they sang “breaking up is never easy” in their 1976 hit “Knowing Me, Knowing You”.  After all, the theme of separation always featured big in their music.

The second stage of separation: Music for the broken-hearted

The “mourning” period often sets in right after the break-up, especially if you’re not the one who walked away, but it can also take weeks, months and even years for someone to realise what they’ve lost! What you’ll most likely listen to (weather you want to or not) during this particular stage of separation: music that reminds you of happier days, songs you used to listen to with your beloved, that little tune he or she sometimes whistled in the bathroom … and of course this special song which never fails to make you cry, which seems to have been written just for you, full of heartfelt emotion and despair.  For me personally, this will always be “Nothing compares 2 u” by Sinead O’Connor. I don’t even need to suffer from a recent separation for this beautiful music to go straight to my heart! Another contender are Guns ‘n’ Roses – not only with the popular “November Rain” but also with another deeply touching piece on love and loss, “Estranged”.

The third stage of separation: Music for suvivors

Anyways, indulging in your misery for too long is not a healthy thing to do. Yes, you’ve been through a difficult period in your life, but now it’s time to cheer up! The worst is over, so here is what you need for this final stage in the process of separation: music which helps you to regain your self-esteem and optimism. There’s nothing wrong with a hint of melancholy or even a little bit of schadenfreude and lust for revenge – but essentially these songs should be about how you’ve overcome the separation. Music I recommend dearly in this category includes Cher’s rousingly positive “Strong enough” , the classic pick-me-up “I will survive” by Gloria Gaynor, and an all-time favourite of mine, “Yes” by McAlmont and Butler. The unusual and powerful soul voice of McAlmont combined with Bernard Butler’s classic indie guitar sound make you want to jump up and embrace the day and all that’s coming: You know you’ll get over this separation – music can help you!

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